Pictures

Pictures are good and bad. Good in the way they remind you of happy days. They bring you back to the times that you were happy. Pictures can be bad because they can bring up memories that you miss and can’t have anymore. I have thousands of pictures on my phone. Every night laying in bed, I scroll to the top of my camera roll, and go through all of the pictures.I get very happy when I think of the happy times that my family has been through. Picking a pumpkin at the pumpkin patch, writing Santa a letter, playing at the beach. They make me miserable, though, because I know we, as a family of three, will not be doing anything like that for four years. I know that the time will come when we can finally be together will come soon enough.

Prison “Wife”

I have been with my fiancee for eight years and we have a 3 1/2 year old beautiful boy. My fiancee was sentenced to four years two months for assault. He took a plea deal and was taken away a little over two weeks ago. This is the hardest thing we have ever had to do. From going to being with someone every day for eight years to just talking on the phone, is a huge adjustment. The love of your life is taken from you and you feel hopeless. All you can do it sit and wait for them to call, praying nothing bad happens. The first day that he was away, Anthony was with my mother. I got home and I fell on the couch and had the biggest meltdown I have ever had. I felt my whole life was being ripped apart and I felt empty inside. Everything in our home reminded me of him. It still does. His soaps. toothbrush, different foods that he wanted from the store, etc. How do you prepare for something like this? You think you can mentally get ready, but you can’t. Nothing will compare to that actual moment that this happens. The hardest thing is our son. He is only 3 and is too young to understand where his daddy is. I can’t explain to him the truth until he is older and understands. He does talk to him on the phone and I will take him to see him when we are finally able to visit. Talking on the phone is the best part of my day. I never thought I could get so excited about a phone call. I love him so much and miss him.