Prison

So my fiancee was transferred five hours away, today. I had a meltdown when I found out he was “in transit”. I don’t know this new place. Prisons are what we see on TV. Gangs, weapons, fights, killings, and a million horrible other things. He has been in the intake process for the past month. We got used to the time schedule for calls that we got to talk to daddy. We couldn’t see him in person or video calls. Nothing. Going from everyone to seeing the person you will spend the rest of your life with, to nothing, is extremely hard. At this new place, we have a scheduled video call for tomorrow at 6 p.m. and we are able to message each other. I need to see him. He told me about the gangs he has seen his first several hours there. It is scary, but not like we see on T.V. I told him no bullshit. Don’t sugarcoat anything. He is an amazing guy with a good head on his shoulders. I am going to go to my first prison support group the first Saturday of next month. It is held monthly. I am also going next week to a meeting for family members of the inmates. I am apart of a group online on Facebook that know what I am going through and I really need to see that other people know how I feel.

 

Prison “Wife”

I have been with my fiancee for eight years and we have a 3 1/2 year old beautiful boy. My fiancee was sentenced to four years two months for assault. He took a plea deal and was taken away a little over two weeks ago. This is the hardest thing we have ever had to do. From going to being with someone every day for eight years to just talking on the phone, is a huge adjustment. The love of your life is taken from you and you feel hopeless. All you can do it sit and wait for them to call, praying nothing bad happens. The first day that he was away, Anthony was with my mother. I got home and I fell on the couch and had the biggest meltdown I have ever had. I felt my whole life was being ripped apart and I felt empty inside. Everything in our home reminded me of him. It still does. His soaps. toothbrush, different foods that he wanted from the store, etc. How do you prepare for something like this? You think you can mentally get ready, but you can’t. Nothing will compare to that actual moment that this happens. The hardest thing is our son. He is only 3 and is too young to understand where his daddy is. I can’t explain to him the truth until he is older and understands. He does talk to him on the phone and I will take him to see him when we are finally able to visit. Talking on the phone is the best part of my day. I never thought I could get so excited about a phone call. I love him so much and miss him.